2 primary motivators that lead married couples to divorce

On Behalf of | Apr 14, 2021 | Divorce

It used to seem like divorce was a rare phenomenon in the United States some 30 years ago or more. It’s now far more common than most would have ever imagined. It’s not rare for someone to know another person who has been through a divorce once — or more.

This fact may leave you wondering if certain factors contribute to a marriage’s demise more than others. One marriage therapist, who endured her own parents’ divorce as a child and has spoken to countless couples during her professional career, believes that some behaviors do give way to divorce

Lack of communication about wants and desires

Individuals decide to marry because they believe that they’ll always have a teammate to count on when they’re looking for support. Many spouses lose track of their mission to be there for one another as their marriage lingers on. They start to do and say things that are potentially inflammatory instead of conciliatory. 

It shouldn’t surprise you that one common problem that couples often have that leads to their relationships’ demise is an inability or unwillingness to discuss their feelings and needs with each other.

The counselor notes that spouses often complain about what each other does to their friends, family members and even their children, but they shut down instead of conveying that same feedback to their husband or wife, who they’re hoping will change. The therapist points out that very few individuals can read others’ minds, so keeping such feelings inside never helps anyone.

Couples drift apart

The therapist notes that another persistent problem is an increasing divide between spouses. She said that husbands and wives often see a gradual reduction in their quality time as their marriage lingers on. This distance ultimately leads some spouses to pursue other options to fill the void left by their unfulfilling relationship. 

Many husbands and wives may develop addictions, start relationships with others and make other lifestyle changes as a result. Spouses often find it challenging to come back from the brink of divorce once these outside vices become a third party in their marriage. 

What to when your marriage is falling apart

Most spouses don’t want to give up on their marriage despite realizing that it’s irretrievably broken. An attorney can advise you how you do yourself a disservice on both emotional and financial fronts when you continue to fight.