Divorcing parents who have a nanny to care for their children have to think about what’s going to happen with the nanny in the future — especially if they want the nanny to remain consistent once the parents are in different households.
This is a challenging situation for everyone, but setting some ground rules from the start can help everyone to get along and allow the children to thrive.
Set the schedule early
The kids will be splitting their time between two homes, so making sure that the nanny knows what kind of schedule to anticipate is critical. You should include all of the kids’ extracurricular activities on the schedule if the nanny is expected to handle the transportation between events.
Get the work agreement together
The nanny’s work agreement needs to be handled as quickly as possible.
The work agreement should clarify who is going to pay the nanny’s wages (whether that’s you, your spouse or a combination of both) and when the nanny is expected to work. Include all the rules about how the nanny will interact with everyone in the family and what guidelines the nanny is expected to follow.
Don’t expect the nanny to relay messages
The nanny isn’t a messenger between you and your spouse, so don’t expect them to relay messages back and forth. Instead, parents should talk directly to each other through verbal or written communication.
Any decisions regarding the nanny should be put in writing — both for your protection and the nanny’s sense of security in their job. This is in addition to the parenting plan that you and your ex come up with that handles the matters related to the children. Addressing these issues early can help you maintain your current relationship with your child’s nanny and keep your children from experiencing unnecessary disruptions in their lives.