Too many people think of therapy or counseling as an option for couples hoping to avoid divorce as opposed to a very useful tool for couples currently going through a divorce. Especially if you have children, you may find that counseling could make a major difference in how the members of your family adjust to the new reality after your separation and divorce.
Different situations can require different kinds of therapy. There are at least three different ways in which counseling could benefit your family.
Individual counseling can help you understand what went wrong
Whether infidelity or a gradually growing distance between you and your spouse led to divorce, you may feel confused about how a relationship that started out so strong and positively wound up doing such damage to your emotional and mental health.
Working with your own counselor to go over your role in your marriage and its decline can help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future and provide you with a healthy emotional outlet so that you don’t take things out on your ex or your kids.
Co-parenting therapy or post-decree couples therapy could help you parent
When you share kids, you don’t just get to cut ties with your ex after the divorce. You have to find some way to continue working together despite everything else that has happened in your life. Unlike traditional couples therapy, co-parenting or post-decree therapy focuses on building a new relationship going forward, not necessarily addressing the issues from before.
You can learn skills to communicate more effectively and have a therapist there as an intermediary if issues arise that you cannot make an efficient decision on with your ex.
Family therapy can help your children process their feelings too
Finding a counselor who is willing to work with your children individually and also with you and your ex can benefit everyone in the family. Independent counseling can help each member of your family process their emotions, well family therapy can help you correct any changes to your family dynamic that may affect the children.
Instead of looking at therapy or something to avoid, consider it a tool that can help you, your ex and the children you share adjust to your new lives after divorce.