When you have children, there is a very little chance that you will be able to break completely away from the other parent when you divorce. Instead, they are likely going to be an active parent with whom you will have to communicate often. Because of this, it is a good idea to set the right precedent for the parenting relationship you are entering into.
One of the most important ways that you can reduce your stress in these cases is to have respect for your co-parent. Being respectful when you communicate with your ex or speaking about your ex can help to alleviate negativity.
Focus on parenting
Just because your ex was a bad spouse doesn’t mean that they are a bad parent. Instead of focusing on what happened in the past, think about how your ex is doing as a parent. You might find that things are working much better now that you can focus on the children instead of on a romantic relationship.
Even when things do go awry with your ex’s parenting, you can still help to alleviate the difficulties. This could mean doing something as simple as reassuring your children that everything is going to be fine and that both of their parents do love them.
Prepare for an adjustment
You might think that things change suddenly when you get divorced. This isn’t the way it usually happens. Instead, you will likely find that there is a slow adjustment period as you settle into your roles as co-parents instead of romantic partners. While you are going through this, take your time.
It is often difficult for exes to adjust to being co-parents. You need to work on healing from the issues that led to the divorce. Your emotions are probably raw, which can make this even more of a challenge. When another romantic partner is brought into the situation, you have to be able to separate that from the parenting relationship.
Present a united front
Your children are looking to you to see how to react to situations. Instead of being focused on you versus your ex, take the time to become a parenting team by presenting a united front before the children. You can do this by backing up each other’s decisions and attending events for the children together. Sharing those events means that you need to have a good working relationship, so do what’s best for the children.
You can go over your parenting agreement to determine how to handle certain situations. The more detailed the plan, the better the future is likely going to be.