Determining that you want to divorce your spouse is a big life change, and telling them that you want to end the marriage is likely going to be a challenging situation. One thing that you don’t need to do during that discussion is hash out the terms of the divorce. Instead, you can do this during the mediation session that utilizes a neutral third-party to help you stay on track and make choices about property division and child custody.
When you go through divorce mediation, you and your ex can make decisions that are mutually agreeable. Often, this is a more amicable process than going through a divorce trial. If you are going to do this, there are a few ways that you can prepare.
Look at the matters beforehand
Before the first session where you are trying to negotiate your divorce settlement, you need to look at what matters must be discussed. This includes taking a look at the assets and debts that have to go through property division, so you know what you want to fight for. As you do this, remember that you are going to only have your income. You should review the expenses of certain arrangements so you know whether you can afford them or not.
You can also discuss the child custody matters during mediation. Your children must remain the focus of these discussions because everything in the agreement must reflect their best interests. You should set this up for what they need now because modifications down the road are possible.
Keep your cool
Mediation is meant to be less stressful than going through a trial. As you are having the sessions with your ex, don’t let them get to you. Sometimes, they will try to irritate the other party so they can have their own way. If you see that this is going on, you can ask to speak to the mediator in private. They can act as a go-between so you aren’t being subjected to your ex’s negative behaviors.
Trial isn’t a failure
Sometimes, mediation just isn’t going to work. You can’t think of this as a failure. Instead, you need to expend your energy to prepare for the trial. You will need to show the court why you should receive the settlement you are seeking. Your attorney can help you work through this part of the divorce process if you do need to have a trial.